Milfs and Grannies Phone Sex

I have hit a new low!!  I know you are sick of me saying that by now, but this time it’s true!!  Well, let me just spill it.  I went out to a nice Mexican Restaurant Friday night… it was good food.  It was great food.  The refried beans the chili relleno, the Chicken Fajitas which I always so wrong and get laughed out (It DOESN’T rhyme with Vagina??)   the big basket of nachos and Salsa that was hotter than the freaking SUN.. but Oh sooo good.  Well I made a pig of myself.  And by the middle of the night I was paying the price.  I fucking swear, you would have thought I lived in a lighthouse, from all the Foghorn noises you could hear emanating from my bedroom.   I mean I’ve had gas before.. but this was beyond gas.  This was Olga, one woman Greenhouse Effect.  I was up and down all night to the toilet.  And pretty soon there was nothing left to empty out of me.  So why is it that in the morning I wake up to rip another one… I misjudge my own ass’s intent.. and instead of cutting the cheese I part the chocolate sea right there in my own bed!!!  I shit my own sheets. My nightgown the floor by the bed… everything.. a big chocolate runny puddle of Olga’s Friday Night Fiesta…   Thank god my son had left for work already (we share a bed for the time being.  Long story).  He complained all night about Mama’s tooting and pooting… he woulda been scarred for life if he’d seen me use the mattress like a giant diaper.   WELP.  I think it’s time to do some laundry finally, don’t you?  Yes I know.  I’m gross.  Suffer!

OLGA 1 888 896 6205

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Some of these callers crack me up.  I had a pee fetishist on the phone and I am always glad to oblige since I damn near have to wear Depends already, I’m so damn full of piss all the time.  If I sneeze, I piss a little.  If I stand up too fast I piss a little.  If I cum too hard, I piss a LOT.  It’s like my goddamn bladder ain’t even tryin anymore LOL… But this particular caller loves to hear me pissing loud and long so I try to saveit up for him on his usual call days.  Then I run to the bathroom and hold the phone in the bowl while I let it fly!!  However the other day he called and I was feeling pretty gassy all morning (I’d had mexican just before bed last night!  D’OH!!!) and I was afraid I’d be doing alot more than pissing if you know what i Mean.  He’s straight pee fetish, not really into much else so I didn’t know how that would go over.  I swear I fucking tried as hard as I could to JUST piss, not let out any gas… do you know how manyf ucking muscles that requires??  I sure as hell don’t because i FAILED big time, and I let out the longest sloppiest, wettest sounding fart you could ever imagine.  It lasted forever!!  Then I got nervous trying to bring the phone back out of the bowl and I ended up dropping the receiver in the pissy fucking toilet water!!!!   By the time I got it out all I could hear was a dial tone!  OOPS!!  I hope he enjoyed that little noise parade!!  If I don’t hear back from him again I guess I’ll know how it went over.  Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve gotta try to get the smell of pisswater out of my phone still…. LOL.!

OLGA  1 888 896 6205

http://milfsandgranniesphonesex.com/olga.html