Milfs and Grannies Phone Sex

It’s finally happened. I’ve become an incontinent old bat.   Fortunately, I only seem to wet myself when I’m having an orgasm.  Unfortunately, I keep wetting myself everytime I have an orgasm!!

This never used to happen!  I had a bladder of steel and I could hold my urine thru odouble shifts at Luby’s 6 days a week.  I retired from waitressing just a couple of years ago and my control of my body functions seem to be retiring as well.   One time at the grocery store I bent down to get a box of cereal and I cut the hugest fart you ever heard.  It was pretty crowded in this aisle and there was no mistaking it was me.  I was mortified I tell you.  I never saw it coming.  I dashed right over to the checkout lane after that.   But that’s how it began… suddenly I’d get gas… and I HAD to let it out fast or else!!  Then a few months later I noticed I’d pee a little every time I laughed or sneezed.  But just a little.   Then a few months further down the road I’d be waking up in the middle of the night running to the toilet and just barely making it!

And now… it’s a mess.  My hubby was eating me out after having banged me six ways from sunday.. and I’d already had a couple of rolling O’s…. but he hit the right spot and suddenly I started squirting.. but not the good kind of squirting.  This was unmistakeably warm, wet, pungent piss.    Hubby is pretty kinky and so am I but we weren’t expecting this.. Or else we never would have been screwing on our brand new burberry couch like that.  This is gonna be one expensive re-upholstery bill. 

Sometimes gettin’ older ain’t what it’s cracked up to be.  OH well… I’ll be sure to tell you when I lose control of my bladder altogether and start running around with a catheter.  I wonder if they make vibrating adult diapers???   Hrmmmmm….

HELEN 1 888 298 3960

http://milfsandgranniesphonesex.com/helen.html

Some of these callers crack me up.  I had a pee fetishist on the phone and I am always glad to oblige since I damn near have to wear Depends already, I’m so damn full of piss all the time.  If I sneeze, I piss a little.  If I stand up too fast I piss a little.  If I cum too hard, I piss a LOT.  It’s like my goddamn bladder ain’t even tryin anymore LOL… But this particular caller loves to hear me pissing loud and long so I try to saveit up for him on his usual call days.  Then I run to the bathroom and hold the phone in the bowl while I let it fly!!  However the other day he called and I was feeling pretty gassy all morning (I’d had mexican just before bed last night!  D’OH!!!) and I was afraid I’d be doing alot more than pissing if you know what i Mean.  He’s straight pee fetish, not really into much else so I didn’t know how that would go over.  I swear I fucking tried as hard as I could to JUST piss, not let out any gas… do you know how manyf ucking muscles that requires??  I sure as hell don’t because i FAILED big time, and I let out the longest sloppiest, wettest sounding fart you could ever imagine.  It lasted forever!!  Then I got nervous trying to bring the phone back out of the bowl and I ended up dropping the receiver in the pissy fucking toilet water!!!!   By the time I got it out all I could hear was a dial tone!  OOPS!!  I hope he enjoyed that little noise parade!!  If I don’t hear back from him again I guess I’ll know how it went over.  Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve gotta try to get the smell of pisswater out of my phone still…. LOL.!

OLGA  1 888 896 6205

http://milfsandgranniesphonesex.com/olga.html

I know what you’re craving.  I will build a full-fantasy story for your roleplay world. I’m full of motherly love, and ready to smother you in it.  Most call me “mommy” and I take that responsibility seriously.
From diapers and nursing to bathwater and spankings, nothing is taboo to me.  Call me with your secret  fantasy and unload it on “mommy”, we’ll make it come to life together.

SUNNY
1 888 296 6953, ask for SUNNY
http://milfsandgranniesphonesex.com/sunny.html

I get off on getting your cock hard and watching it shoot its sticky load. Anything it takes, no matter how nasty or tame, I’m up to it.
ABDL, Age play, Anal rape, Bestiality, BDSM, Catheters, Cuckold, Diapers, Domme/sub, Enemas, Feet, Forced encounters, Gender reversal, Golden showers, Humiliation, Incest, … well, you get the idea don’t you? Need a few more? … Sissification, Slapping, Smoking, Spanking, Strap-ons. ANYthing it takes for you to go “BOOM”.
I also love to hear confessions. If you just need someone o confide in, share your story with me. I don’t judge or share your secrets with anyone.

Auntie Jan
1-888-689-3824, ask for Jan
http://milfsandgranniesphonesex.com/jan.html

Do you have that fantasy in your darkest secrets that you’ve never shared with anyone?
Maybe it’s your mom catching you stroking your cock, you walking in on your grandma in the shower, the thrill of wet training pants sloshing against your balls, or some other memory from your childhood still lingering in your mind. Maybe it’s your neighbor who you sneak peeks on late at night, someone at work, or a complete stranger you meet on a bus.
Share that fantasy with me, and I will make it come alive for you … and no one else will ever know. It will be a secret shared by the two of us, one that we can relive anytime you wish.
Just give me a call …
Sunny at 1-888-296-6953
http://milfsandgranniesphonesex.com/sunny.html

Okay, I have officially reached my sexual awakening. I want to try anything that has to do with sex.
I challenge anyone reading this to try to shock me with their stories or ideas. I’m ready to sling dirty diapers, give (or take) golden showers. I want to use a strap-on or a vibrator (maybe both!).
Let me fuck, suck, blow, jack, or just run around the house naked for you. I want to feel your skin on mine. Stimulate me, body and mind.

I’m waiting for your call …
Jan 1-888-869-6198

It was a steamy, hot day.  Sweat covered me completely under my cotton blouse and mid-thigh skirt. I had finally begun cleaning out the basement of my new home, which was full of all manner of crap and was lugging the heavy trash bags out to the curb.  As I was struggling along with the third one, there he was, quite suddenly; shirtless, smiling and offering to help.  I had noticed him before, admiring his young, well-muscled body and handsome face as he went about half-naked in the summer heat and had made a mental note: to be explored further.  He easily hefted the trash bag I had been struggling with and brought it to the curb.  And what a gentleman: he offered to help with any others there might be.  Nasty, horny bitch that I am, I thought this would be an excellent opportunity to do that exploring and see what this young stud really had to offer.  So off we went to the basement and he promptly disposed of the other 3 bags of trash. As he was, I was practically salivating looking at the sweat glistening on his tanned skin as it highlighted his rippling muscles. I found myself wondering what was under those shorts and licking my lips. After the last bag had gone to the curb, I invited him to take a seat in the kitchen and offered him a cool drink; i was surprise he chose milk. In getting the milk carton out of the refrigerator, I made it a point to bend over far, to let him get a good look up my skirt.  I knew he was getting a perfect view…an eyeful of my big ass.  I poured a glass out for him, and speaking in a low, sexy voice, I leaned forward in such a way as to give him a better view of my deep cleavage and could feel his eyes burning on the hetfty, sweaty mounds.  He was forgetting his manners, out-and-out staring, so I decided to go for it. “Ummm, see something you like?,” I asked.  He stammered an apology and blushed, which just made him all the hotter to me. “Don’t be embarrassed,” I purred, taking his hand and putting it on my left tit. His hand squeezed firmly and he brushed his thumb roughly across my nipple, sending shivers of delight traveling through my body to blossom between my legs and manifest as spreading wetness. I shut my eyes and moaned, stepping closer to him and press my voluptuous body into his.  He buried his face between my tits and I grabbed his hair, pressing his head against me and moaning louder.  I stepped in front of him, straddling his legs and standing over him and rasped out “Get your milk right from the source.”  I pulled his head back and unbuttoned my blouse, pulling my tits free of my bra, tweaking my already hard nipples as he stared. I looked down and could see the massive bulge in his shorts. He sucked at my big tits greedily, one hand on my ass, squeezing, the other sliding up the inside of my thigh. I moaned again as his hand reached my soaked pussy, the wetness having drenched the crotch of my panties. Pulling my panties to the side, he rubbed my slippery lips and clit as he continued sucking at my nipples.  Just when I feel like it will never happen, he pushed two fingers up inside of me and I flex my knees, dropping down to push them in further.  Taking his lips off my nipple, my handsome neighbor looked up at me with big puppy dog eyes and started chanting the kiddie rhyme, “Milk, milk, lemonade…I’d really like to feel some hot lemonade splashing all over me, strained through those white panties of yours, if you know what I mean.  Haha! I couldn’t believe my luck.  I’d hit the jackpot with this one…my little neighbor boy liked to play in the water…  Give me a call if you want to know how he enjoyed his “lemonade” or what happened when that dirty boy turned “the corner where fudge is made.”

SUNNY   1-888-296-6953