Milfs and Grannies Phone Sex

Some of these callers crack me up.  I had a pee fetishist on the phone and I am always glad to oblige since I damn near have to wear Depends already, I’m so damn full of piss all the time.  If I sneeze, I piss a little.  If I stand up too fast I piss a little.  If I cum too hard, I piss a LOT.  It’s like my goddamn bladder ain’t even tryin anymore LOL… But this particular caller loves to hear me pissing loud and long so I try to saveit up for him on his usual call days.  Then I run to the bathroom and hold the phone in the bowl while I let it fly!!  However the other day he called and I was feeling pretty gassy all morning (I’d had mexican just before bed last night!  D’OH!!!) and I was afraid I’d be doing alot more than pissing if you know what i Mean.  He’s straight pee fetish, not really into much else so I didn’t know how that would go over.  I swear I fucking tried as hard as I could to JUST piss, not let out any gas… do you know how manyf ucking muscles that requires??  I sure as hell don’t because i FAILED big time, and I let out the longest sloppiest, wettest sounding fart you could ever imagine.  It lasted forever!!  Then I got nervous trying to bring the phone back out of the bowl and I ended up dropping the receiver in the pissy fucking toilet water!!!!   By the time I got it out all I could hear was a dial tone!  OOPS!!  I hope he enjoyed that little noise parade!!  If I don’t hear back from him again I guess I’ll know how it went over.  Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve gotta try to get the smell of pisswater out of my phone still…. LOL.!

OLGA  1 888 896 6205

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A lotta guys say they are “breast men,” but they don’t know what the fuck they are talking about.  It’s about a helluva lot more than just liking a nice big rack.   If you are a Tit Man, a true blue tit man, you will know how to WORSHIP the titties.  You will know how to bury your face deep in the titties, let them smother you, let them smack your face around, knock your fucking lights out with those meat hammers!  And I’m sorry but asking a gal with biguns like mine to smoosh ‘em together around your cock and bounce up and down, that doesn’t cut it.  Your cock will fucking disappear in this shit man!!  Hell your whole HEAD will disappear in a rack like mine.   No… a real tit man will fuck every fucking angle of those tits… he will drag his ballsack over each nipple.. and caress each nipple with the head of his rock hard fuckstick.  He will beg to suck those titties like a lil baby, and he’ll do it for HOURS…  make you squirm with his tongue.  One time I had this guy do this windshield wiper move on me with his mouth… he held my tit real still and started flicking his head back and forth side to side against the nipple.. at first  i thought WOW this is dumb.. but within a few seconds the sensation was KILLING me i started screaming with pleasure as he flicked his head faster and faster and faster…  He fucking made me kick a hole in the fucking bedroom wall, damn near.  I swear I’ve never had another tit lover like him… he was so damn good he made me decide to give women a try, just so i could spread the good titty news to my fellow females!!   Anyway… as you can tell my tits have been mighty neglected… so if you wanna cum adore these 44GG gargantuan granny titties, pick up the fuckin phone already so we can get started!!!

OLGA 1 888 896 6205

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OOPS!! I love this shot.  Dildo got fucking stuck in my snatch it was hilarious.   It took a while to get wet enough to jiggle it free… even the camera guy was trying to help me… I don’t think he had as much fun honestly.  He approached my pussy like it was a lion and he was trying to snatch away a slab of meat.  I roared laughing at him,  “Young Man it’s just pussy it’s not gonna hurt ya less it squirts ya in the eye.!” I’ve been known to do that too.  Get a dick pushing deep into me like a spoon into half a grapefruit  *SQUIPP!!*  … i love that shit.   Never got a toy stuck in there before tho.  Maybe i’m getting  TIGHTER with old age!  How’s that for the record books??    That’s what I love about being an old fat broad the surprises never end.  If you would like to get YOURSELF stuck in this big old twat, drop me a line.

OLGA 1 888 896 6205

http://milfsandgranniesphonesex.com/olga.html

So I’m home alone this morning,  sitting by the open window minding my own fucking business, naked, touching my clit and my big fat titties when I notice people walking by trying to stare in, looking all shocked and pointing.  Like I give a fuck, if you wanna look into my window like its a friggin Plasma Screen TV go right ahead.  But if you don’t like what you see it’s your own fuckin fault I say.  I do everything around the house naked. I vacuum, I sweep, I even wash the goddamn windows in my birthday suit if it’s a hot day. My kids and grandkids have all seen me nude they know thats how granny rolls, as they say.  I wouldnt call myself a Nudist,, I’m not a fanatic about it or nothin, I just believe in doing whatever makes me comfortable and what feels good!  Plus when it’s my own fucking house and it’s the summer, I’m damn sure gonna be comfortable.  There are a few  youngfellas who appreciate a good Olga show  now and then.  I’ll give ‘em one too when they come by, I’ll swing my titties out the window, squat down on the sill and show em some pink… but really it’s a catch as catch can thing around here.  I’m not gonna go out of my way to do it.  

So anyway, I brought all this up to tell you this.  I just caught a guy staring in this morning while I was getting myself off.  I noticed him out of the corner of my eye but  didn’t stop.  It wasn’t until I was just about cum that I turned my head to focus on him and I realized it was a friggin COP standing by his policecar, parked on the corner looking directly my way! Somebody must have complained earlier and sent him around my way!    I thought oh well, this is not how I planned to spend the day, getting arrested….  I thought he looked like he was on a walkie talkie or phone or some thingy talking about a “public disturbance”  lol… I got a teeny bit nervous I admit.  But no sooner I finally pull my hands out of my  twat I see him wave at me, give me a salute, then get back in his cruiser and pull off!!  Guess even the fuzz is a fan around these parts!!  Where’s MY Emmy??

OLGA  1 888 896 6205

http://milfsandgranniesphonesex.com/olga.html