Archive for the 'animals' Category
OLGA CRUSH! OLGA SMASH!!
UGH! I AM SO DISGUSTED BY MY SON!!!
Took a little weekend trip to visit my oldest son and check up on him. Now that his bitch wife has left him alone at the trailer with a moutain of credit card debt, he’s been depressed and needing his mommy to cheer him up sometimes. But the boy lives in SQUALOR. Absolute filth. I couldn’t believe my eyes. It’s just gotten worse and worse as the weeks have gone by. But last week’s visit took the cake. There were open food containers everywhere, old moldy tv dinners on the floor and around the couch, about 50 half empty beercans around the bed and jars of his PISS everywhere cuz he’s too lazy and depressed to get up to go to the bathroom these days. But worst of all… he has a problem with mice and roaches now. They are EVERYWHERE!! You turn off the lights and you immediately hear gnawing and skittering sounds… EW EW EWW! You turn the lights back on and its like a blip in the fucking matrix… dozens of little dark shadows disappear into the corners… you’re like did I really just see what I thought I saw?? No way… but out of the corner of your eye you cant help but you are being watched.
So I suit up in my cleaning the house clothes.. just some shorts and a tshirt I dont mind getting dirty… and a big bucket of pine sol and a sponge…. and start to cleaning up for my boy in his pig sty filth… and I’m getting into it. Down on my hands and knees on the hardwood floor scrubbing up what I’m sure was a big splotch of his JIZ all caked and dried underneath his computer table.. but man whatever… he’s a grown man and it’s a natural body function. When all the sudden I feel my knee start to crunch on what I think are some old frito chips on the floor. WRONG. I move my knee to look and am disgusted to see that I had instead crushed a huge family of COCKROACHES underneath my fuckin knee!! UGH!! And worse than that… I had flipped over a temporary nest living beneath an overturned tupperware box of pasta… A SWARM of baby roaches immediately start crawling up my leg and my thigh!! LIke I’m being devoured by ants or someshit!! It was insane… they were running up and down my body immediately.. under my clothes… up my shorts into my underwear… I started SCREAMING bloody murder and ripping my clothes off my body trying to get them off of me.
But wait.. it gets worse.. as I’m stomping half naked and twirling and screeching like a tasmanian devil with smashed up cockroaches on my knees… I feel something SOFT and yet crunchy underneath my left foot.. and the distinct feeling of something being flattened and destroyed under my weight. A wet, soggy feeling all the sudden. I look down… AAAAAARGH I HAD JUST SMASHED A MOUSE!!! IT WAS ALREADY DEAD IN THE MOUSETRAP AND I HAD SMASHED IT!! GUTS AND GORE WERE EVERYWHERE!! LIke I HAD just stomped on a mini bratwurst… I saw little mouse bones I saw pink gooey mouse brains and BLOODY GOO mixing between my toes and smeared under my bare heel;. I felt the squish and the slick… UGH UGH UGH…… Needless to say I was beside myself. I don’t know what got into me but I must have looked a fright…standing in my underwear screaming my foot covered with smashed mouse goo…. smashed up roaches… roaring like a freaking banshee!!! My son ran into the room screaming MOM whats going on???? All I could do was YELL… GODDAMMIT YOU ARE COMING TO LIVE WITH ME!! IS THIS HOW YOU LIVE??? YOU DISGUSTING LITTLE PIG!! PACK YOUR THINGS RIGHT NOW!!!
And like a good little boy he’s back home with me now. He just finished moving his things in today. He has yet to get used to me taking phonesex calls… his eyes get all wide with horror everytime the phone rings… but you know what?? That’s life!! My boy is a good boy, I’m sure he will adjust. And if he’s a really good boy he’ll learn how to help his Mommy out after she had to suffer thru the animal snuff film horror flick that was his trailer apartment!! UGH UGH! I’m still trying to come down from that one. But I thought I should let everyone know what a sick little puppy I raised…. CAll me or something. I need a distraction like you wouldnt believe !
OLGA 1 888 896 6205
http://milfsandgranniesphonesex.com/olga.html
No commentsFarmyard Fun
I get a lot of comments and questions regarding my web page’s reference to my farm life and my grandpa. Now Grandpa could be a bit of a controlling s.o.b. and I can’t even count the number of times he reduced me to tears with his harshness, but he was also a big snuggle bear and there are even more times I recall sitting on his lap, being his pride and joy and sucking up his attention…and anything else that came up.
Grandpa was also a strange combination of very practical and very kinky. He is responsible for introducing me to some very interesting activities which have, in turn, inspired certain tastes in me that I don’t think I will ever leave behind. Hell, if they are still with me, as strong as ever, at this age, I would say that’s a pretty good guess, lol. Yessiree…it’s very interesting what the most necessary tasks of animal husbandry triggered in my life when I was old enough to begin being useful around the farm. And though I was not a happy little camper at first, that attitude did not last for long and I became the queen of self-initiative, much to Grandpa’s delight. And Rex’s and Dobbin’s and Billy’s and Elmer’s…and even Elsie’s…lol. If you have a real dirty streak and are looking for details, give me a call and you might find me in the mood to indulge you. Visit my website for details on the April 2009 “Stimulus Package” Special.